


Becoming Bucky

by coulsons-hawk (allyoop)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Remembers, Comfort, Dirty Talk, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Memories, No really tumblr is mentioned, Penis Friday, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Porn Watching, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Prompt Fic, Recovery, Riding, Self-Acceptance, Sexual Content, Touch-Starved, Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 06:01:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3370496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyoop/pseuds/coulsons-hawk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky has been on the road to recovery for a long time, but there's still a few things on his list to discover about himself... certain likes and dislikes he may need Steve's help to try...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Becoming Bucky

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when people give me prompts at 1am after a night of Valentine's wine tasting.   
> AKA this is some quick porn without plot and a belated gift to you, my readers ;)

Bucky had a journal that he kept in his pocket everyday. It wasn’t unlike Steve’s notebook, full of ideas and whims and notes-to-self to catch up on. He had missed a lot while he was being played with like a puppet and now he was determined to reclaim his body and his mind as his own. With a little push from Sam, he had taken to writing lists of things he wanted to discover about himself: his likes and dislikes, from his favorite ice cream flavor to how hot he liked his shower. They were little things, but it made a staggering world of difference. Bucky was re-learning himself, post winter soldier nightmare, and carving out who he was in the world today.

He’d been crashing at Steve’s for the last couple of months. Well not so much crashing as living in the spare room Steve had converted from a work out room/office into a bedroom. His bed was just a twin but it was the most comfortable thing he could recall even having. Maybe it was the warmth of knowing Steve was just a wall away, but Bucky hadn’t slept so soundly in, well, as long as he could remember.

It had been a long while since the incident on the bridge. He’d been living as Bucky, been breathing and walking and learning as _Bucky_ , winter soldier flushed away for good many weeks ago. But the shadow of his past was an icy reminder. So he clung to his to-do list like it was the only thing keeping his heart beating. He was proud of himself, proud of how far he had come. There were a few more milestones on the list but he had rediscovered so much of himself so far. He was constantly adding to the list, as it was just as much of a living part of him as his metal arm he had finally accepted as a limb. Bucky was doing okay, and for that he wanted to celebrate.

It was a rare night off; the latest villainous crisis had been averted yesterday and a new one hadn’t cropped up yet. He was in sweatpants and an old hoodie of Steve’s (it was extra comfy because of the lived-in aspect. If it smelled like him too, well that was bonus) and curled up on his glorious bed with his laptop perched beside him. He was scrolling through tumblr, one of his secret vices Stark had gotten him addicted to, just catching up on the latest mostly-untrue Avengers news and laughing at the terrible memes created around the shit they said in interviews. He was surprised to see, in the blur of superheroes, cats, memes on his dash, a gif of two males writhing together in pleasure. Someone he followed was having a penis Friday porn spam, untagged and clearly uninhibited. Usually he would scroll past such things, eyes searching behind him to make sure no one else had caught what was on his dash, but something stopped him tonight. He couldn’t help but stare at the nude forms, gasping and thrusting against each other, bodies fit and gorgeous, faces full of obvious pleasure. The two stars were gorgeous, obviously chosen for their looks and cock size. He barely resisted the urge to zoom in, half curious and half overwhelmed. He hadn’t thought about, nonetheless had any sex in _years_. The memory wipe over and over on missions had killed whatever sex drive he had had. But now, months into recovery and humanity thriving and blooming back in him, he couldn’t help but feel something deep and familiar stir. He clicked around to find the source video, too curious to stop now. He watched in fascination; it was just as good as the short gif had made it seem. He watched as the brunet man messily kissed the younger blonde, pulling off his clothes and shoving him on the bed, making no haste in turning him around and working up a fast pace thrusting his thick cock in and out of that ass. Bucky couldn’t look away. Half of him was full of so many questions (is that big of cock normal? Does the blonde man not mind how fast it’s going? Is the pleasure real?) but he was so caught up in watching he barely even noticed his own half-hard erection at first. He let his right hand, still warm, still flesh, trail slowly down his abs and slip underneath the waist of his sweatpants. He let his hand just ghost across his erection, already hot and hard, wanting to be touched. He wondered what he liked; he couldn’t remember ever doing this before, although he was sure he must have. His hand stroked the length of his cock, slow and tight, trying to remember what gave him pleasure. He swiped his thumb over the sensitive slit, already feeling precum forming on his rapidly hardening cock.. It was nice, _good_ even, to touch himself like this. He tightened his fist and thrust into it, enjoying the friction and heat, thrusting in time to the men on screen. He wondered how it felt to have someone inside him, filling him up with their own hard cock, stretching him out and moaning his name with every push and pull. Bucky’s head rolled back, his eyes having trouble focusing on the screen as the tightness grew in his abs and his own thrusts into his fist grew faster and deeper. He felt on the edge, just outside of the final push he needed to orgasm. A memory (or fantasy, he wasn’t sure) drifted in his mind then. A mouth on his, wet kisses and neck bites, a body under his, on his, all over his. He saw his hand, his left hand still flesh and blood, reach out and fist in a head of blonde hair, holding it there as he thrust into the hot mouth, feeling his breath come hard and fast. He heard his own voice, “ _God, Stevie yes, like that, yes suck harder, just take it all, take me- Steve, yes!_ ”

He came hard into his hand, Steve’s name a loud moan no longer just a memory in his head.

He wiped his hand quickly on his pants, blissed out and laying haphazardly back on his bed. Bucky wanted to pull himself together, to make a note to ask Steve about this possible memory, but he was too foggy in his post-orgasm state to even string together a sentence in his head. He fell into a relaxed sleep, his body feeling a million times more _his_.

* * *

 

 

The second time it happened, it wasn’t an accident. Bucky had the forethought to bookmark the website where he had found the video and sought it out one lazy weekend night. He wanted something new, something to help him on his road of finding his likes and dislikes. Without having a clear direction he opened several different videos at once, looking for one to catch his attention. When he saw that same couple, the blond and brunet, he knew exactly what he was watching that night. This time they were slow, tantalizing in their kisses and touches, grinding hard against each other even before the clothes had come off. The shorter one pinned the other to the wall, sinking to the ground and tugging his pants off in a deft single swoop. He sucked on that cock with a skill that Bucky could only dream of ever having; all perfect varying pressure and sucked in cheeks. Without any hesitancy, he let his hand pull his erection out of his boxers, hard and leaking in anticipation of what to come. Pants long gone, the brunet lifted the blond from the ground and rolled his hips against him, cocks rubbing and mouths sucking on each other like it was how they could breathe. The blond wrapped his legs around the other man, letting the brunet slip and hand underneath him to toy at his hole. Bucky, now thrusting in earnest into his own fist, wondered how that felt, to have warm fingers playing with his entrance, scissoring and stretching it open. Without thinking he tugged his boxers further off and, one hand still tight on his cock, he let the other hand with its cool metal drift back to his tight entrance. He had barely ghosted one finger back and forth across his hole when he felt his stomach tighten and pull, and he came across his hand and bed, the porn still playing in the background.

This was a moment almost perfect for his list; he found another thing he clearly _really_ liked.

Bucky lay back against his bed, breathing hard but happily, cum across his shirt and cock still tingling from his orgasm. He heard quickly retreating footsteps and shot straight out of bed. Clearly, Steve had come home a lot earlier than expected. He stepped out of his room, following the sound as quietly as he could. Steve was walking a little unevenly, his breathing heavy, and Bucky wondered if he was hurt. He heard Steve’s door shut and a body fall against it. He couldn’t keep his curiosity contained any more; he pushed the door open and Steve stumbled back, his face flushed and hand clearly over a straining erection.

“Bucky! I-“

“Are you touching yourself?”

He got even redder. “No- yes. I just, I came home early and I heard you… I _saw_ you and it’s a natural reaction and I’m so sorry. I just- _god-_ you looked so good on your bed I couldn’t help-“

“Can I watch?” He cut Steve off. “I’m still trying to remember what I like. Could I watch you? I could learn…” If he was honest, Bucky was pretty sure he could learn a lot just from watching porn, but his reasons for watching Steve were a lot more complicated than just _learning._

“You’d want to watch me?” Steve seemed genuinely confused. “Just standing aside and-?”

“I mean, if you’d let me, I’d join.”

The little gasp Steve made was totally worth Bucky’s honesty in that moment. Suddenly aware of his own nudity, he boldly stepped forward and grabbed at Steve’s belt, pulling it off before he could react. He stuck his flesh hand down Steve’s pants, relishing the touch of the hard cock, bigger than his own in his palm, and he rubbed at it experimentally. Steve moaned at the touch.

“I want to help.”

“ _God_ , Bucky please, anything.”

Taking that as his cue, he pushed Steve backwards towards his bed, helping him out of his clothes as he went. Soon they were both naked, hovering just beside the mattress, lips ghosting just above each other’s.

“Are you sure? Is this fine with you?” Steve asked.

He surged forward, kissing Steve with a passion he felt must have been bubbling under his skin for years. He sucked hard at his lips, relishing the plushness beneath his mouth, utilizing his tongue in all the ways he wasn’t aware he knew. With one hand still on Steve’s neck, he let the other rub against Steve’s hard cock.

“This is so much more than _fine_.”

Bucky pushed him down on the bed and clamored onto him, feeling his cock harden again at the sight of the blond below him, all gorgeous muscles and too-blue eyes. Bucky was starting to think those fantasies were memories after all; this felt too familiar.

Reading his mind, Steve reached sideways to his nightstand and pulled out lube and a condom. “Don’t care how you do it, but use these.”

He gave Steve another searing kiss, letting his hands rub up and down his chest, spending extra attention at his nipples and making Steve gasp beneath him. He rolled the condom onto Steve’s flushed erection, much to his surprise, and dribbled the lube onto his own fingers.

“Bucky, what are you-?“

He slipped his flesh hand underneath himself, still perched above Steve and giving him a show, and pushed his fingers into his tight hole. His head fell back as he fucked down onto his own fingers, working himself open. With each thrust he could practically hear Steve groan in time beneath him. He bit his lip and rubbed harder, wanting to look good for Steve, wanting to show how good he could be.

“ _God please,_ Bucky please let me-“

“Yeah,” He could barely talk. “I’ll – yeah, _now_.”

Without warning he removed his own hand and sunk down on Steve’s erection with a deep moan. It felt so good, so beyond anything he had ever imagined before. The stretch was just shy of painful, burning and hot, the friction rubbing him from the inside out. He _loved_ it. He felt filled to the brim with Steve’s cock and he wanted to never leave that fullness again. He felt whole.

Steve thrust upwards, experimentally, but when Bucky tossed his head back with a low ‘ _Steve!’_ he pulsed upward in earnest. Bucky met him with each movement, giving as good as he got, his powerful thighs giving him strong motions up and down on Steve. It was dirty, harder and deeper than he had seen in his videos, yet he kept screaming for more.

“Stevie, please harder. _Please_ I need more, just fill me up, shove it hard, deep. I _need_ you in me.”

He got a jumbled mess of curses and his name as a response, Steve already getting close to orgasm. He leaned forward on Steve, changing the angle and feeling that sharp bunch of nerves pound hard against that cock inside him. He increased the pace, thrusting heatedly against Steve, his own breathing broken and ragged as his whole inside seemed to burst into fire. Steve’s hand fisted around Bucky’s own neglected hard cock, pulling and pushing in time to each hard thrust. It was almost too much, too many sensations as Steve filled him from the inside and rubbed at his sensitive head. Bucky felt pushed and pulled in every direction, full like he’d never felt before. He wanted it to never end, to just continue in this pleasure-friction forever. He grasped at Steve’s shoulders below him, bending over to meet his mouth with a wet kiss. With a shudder, he felt Steve gasp and come, his heavy cock pulsing in him. It was exactly what Bucky needed to fall over the edge, his own orgasm bursting out and his cum splashing across both their stomachs. He kept riding Steve, both of them breathing heavily, until his cock felt emptied and flush with sensitivity. He lifted off Steve, missing that stretch but knowing it had to end. He turned to lay next to Steve, not quite knowing what the etiquette was now. Two warm arms pulled him closer, and Steve kissed lazily at his neck.

“Bucky, that was-“

“So good.”

“Exactly.”

He could feel Steve’s smile even without seeing it clearly in this dark room. “So, what now?”

“You said you wanted to learn?”

“Please. I want to know my whole body. And to know yours.”

“Good.” Steve’s hand trailed slowly down Bucky’s chest. “You know what’s nice about the serum we both have running in our bloods?”

He rolled onto Steve, wanting to feel that hard body below his again. “What?”

A smirk crossed Steve’s face, the most flirtatious he had ever seen. “Fast recovery periods.” He deftly rolled them over, hand trailing the V of Bucky’s hip. “Get ready to learn, _James_.”

“Well, Captain.” It was his turn to grin. “I sure hope you’re teaching me something _good_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! As always comments and kudos are appreciated.


End file.
